Choosing myself
& for once I am choosing myself. It has been months and every single thing is still painful. I wanna leave so bad but he keeps holding me on & yes it is a lie if I say I don't want him to hold me back. I want it, I want it so much. But the pain, the pain to know that he just holding me back as an option. The pain knowing we talk everyday is not as important as their talk. The pain knowing he doesn't want to let me go is solely because he needs me for other purposes; ranting, emotional support, friend. None of them is love. & for once, please God, for once, give me strength this time to leave. & for once, please ya Allah, I want to choose myself. My happiness, my goals, my dreams. Please yong, this time no turning back. I am going to love myself, choose myself and prioritize myself. I am doing this for myself & lillahitaala.
